Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
