So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
