I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
