Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't turn off my feet"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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