This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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