what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize