i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
