he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
