Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.