He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery