your thong is hanging out like whoa
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
