How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
