Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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