There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
