I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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