All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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