if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
