I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
