just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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