If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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