talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
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My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
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you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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