Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
