Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
