I like my sex mixed with concussions.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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