But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i will never coherently bang her
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
