i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
