i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
