so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
