don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
