i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
