I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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