So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
