Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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