Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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