Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
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and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
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I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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