he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
