Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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