He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
