I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
