No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
