Midget sex pt 2 tonight
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
