I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Can you bring me the toilet please
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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