the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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