i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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