Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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