u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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