that's an acceptable place to lick
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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