I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
