I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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