Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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