Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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