so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
