I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
