You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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