i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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