she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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