i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize