Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have fence marks all over my body
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
