I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
