EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
