yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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