I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
